A recent study found that roughly 38% of families are dysfunctional. There are a lot of things that can cause dysfunction in families. Substance use disorders and mental illnesses are two of the main culprits.
However, it can also be caused by things like political disagreements, identity clashes, and simple personality differences. If you’re tired of conflict in your family, then family therapy can be a great tool for resolving family problems and disagreements.
But what can you expect from this type of therapy? Generally, there are 4 stages of family therapy that you will go through when you begin sessions. In this guide, we’ll briefly discuss what you can expect from each stage.
Stage One: Understanding the Difficulties
Family therapy begins by acknowledging that there’s a problem. Whether that has to do with behaviors or dynamics will ultimately depend on the specific family.
The mutual acceptance of this problem is an important first step. That way everyone is on the same page that going to therapy is a viable solution. Early therapy sessions will explore the difficulties that are causing these conflicts.
Your therapist will likely want to know when the difficulties began and what’s been done so far to address them. The therapist must get everyone’s perspective during this phase.
That way family members can begin to understand where each other is coming from in terms of their own unique personal experience.
Stage Two: Learning New Patterns
Once the problem is actualized and defined, you can begin learning new patterns that break the cycles of conflict. Again, this will look different for different families.
However, it typically involves conversations, interactions, and exercises that emphasize problem-solving, communication, and mutual acceptance. Active listening is a vital part of this family therapy process. Unfortunately, this can come easier to some families than others.
Don’t be discouraged if it takes a while for your family. Many members find that they’re dealing with generational behavior and trauma that runs deep. It can take a long time to untangle the impact of parents and family members. Patience is key to getting through this important stage.
Stage Three: Implementing These Patterns
Once new patterns are established, your family counselor will begin to encourage you to implement them within your sessions. Validation techniques, new approaches to conversations, and practice solutions are some of the tools that your therapist will likely use.
This stage must happen in the presence of your therapist. That way, they can guide you through the process and keep you on track.
Stage Four: Ending Family Therapy and Trying These Patterns In the Real World
Practicing the tools you’ve learned from family therapy in the real world can be a lot different than the safety of the therapist’s office.
That’s why it’s important to eventually end your therapy sessions and test the new patterns you’ve gained in an actual family environment. It’s important to not expect perfection from this stage.
In some cases, a few steps backward is necessary to move forward. If you find that the skills you learned in family therapy aren’t working in the real world, you may need to schedule more sessions and go back to stage three.
Again, patience and empathy are vital for success at this stage. However, there should be a noticeable effect on the way your family interacts with each other at this stage.
What Are the Benefits of Family Therapy?
Many people think that the point of family therapy is to stop fighting. While reducing instances of conflict is certainly a key goal, it’s important to remember that this is far from the only benefit that comes with family therapy.
After your sessions, ideally, your family will have improved communication skills that can extend outside of familial relations. Many family members also report increased levels of emotional intelligence.
Best of all, it can significantly enhance family relationships. Coming out the other side of family therapy shows that everyone involved deeply values their relationships with each other. This can foster a sense of trust and understanding that’s vital for deep relationships.
When Should You Consider Family Therapy?
There are a lot of different reasons why your family might want to consider therapy. Some of the obvious ones include things like mental health issues, substance use problems, and unresolved trauma.
However, if you’re experiencing frequent fights and tension whenever your family gathers, it’s worth considering therapy.
The same goes for communication problems, lies and secrets within the family, and verbal abuse that’s occurring in the family. Some other common reasons people seek family therapy include:
- Grief
- Difficulty setting boundaries
- Stress, financial problems, and life transitions
- Conflict related to LGBTQ+ identities
- Codependency and perfectionism
- Marital problems
- Disagreements in parenting styles
- Blended families
If you aren’t sure whether or not family therapy is right for you we recommend checking out this resource to learn how your family might benefit from therapy.
How to Find the Right Family Therapist
A quick internet search of therapy services in your area should reveal some good options for your needs. Make sure that the counseling center specifically offers family therapy as an option.
We recommend scheduling an initial consultation to see if the family therapist you’ve chosen is right for you. A safe, judgment-free environment is vital for breakthroughs in family therapy.
Remember that there are many different types of family therapy. In some cases, you might want to seek a professional who specializes in a specific method, like CBT or structural family therapy.
Ready to Begin the 4 Stages of Family Therapy?
We hope this guide helped you learn more about the 4 stages of family therapy. It’s important to note that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to family therapy.
Not everything fits neatly into a four-step process. However, regardless of what family therapy looks like, the most important thing is to go to a counseling center that meets your family where they are.
Here at Collaborative Change, we know how complex families can be. That’s why we take a personalized approach to open communication between members. To learn more about how we can help you, schedule an appointment with us today.
